the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
