The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize