Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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