And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
