Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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