We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
