He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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