dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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