A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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