white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you didnt know i had herpes?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
