margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
