You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
there was a trapeze. enough said
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
