The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
