Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
