Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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