and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
