im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
