just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
