she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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