Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
farters have to be the big spoon...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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