shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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