who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The best revenge is premature balding
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
