i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
