She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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