The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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