you would pick up someone in the library
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We are two peas in an std pod
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
