That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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