She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize