2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
