I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
