I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
