yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
