Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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