do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
