he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize