i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I could fuck to npr.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
