I wish I only lived at night.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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