Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
