she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I could fuck to npr.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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