Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
