where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
