I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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