Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize