Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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