How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
