Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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