FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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