Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
