is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
