I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize