My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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