I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
