I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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