this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
