Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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