Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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