Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
