You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
