Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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