OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
