If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
